Wow.... this was an intense day. I had my first drama lessons today and I dunno... I kinda felt like crying half way through. I just... no way am I gonna be an actress or do acting without any medication or something to calm me down. I am the youngest there and it's just soooooo awkward. Like I was talking with people and then I see them gettting bored by me... :( not a nice feeling. Annnd my mum is leaving now so Imma be all by myself in a city i dont even know... sooo alone. I know I am whining but this is really really hard for me.... I feel like this week will really make me realize that acting really is only meant for confident and social people... basically not for me.
Anddd omg... some of the girls there... :'( they are soo annoying and kinda mean.... and :'( there is a lunch hour where I know I'll be all by myslef while everyone is out eating lunch.
Annnd I hate when people say oh but you're so privaliged, some people would dye just to have the opportunites you do.... Ok, but are saying that if you are privaliged and live in confort and security you are not allowed to be sad, be depressed and have issues etc... it's soo annoying... or when people say oh at least you weren't born in a time of war, as if we get to choose in what time period we are born in... as if it's my fault that those people lived in horror and terror... what?
I dunno... I am angry and extremly sad... so my thoughts are a bit crazy.
Dear god.... please make this/next week end already.
Boże nie wiem jak przetrwam ten kolejny tydzień... To może być jeden z najtrudniejszych tygodni mojego życia. Nie wiem...nic nie wiem. Czuje się źle, jest mi smutno, jestem samotna i wpakowałam się w coś co jest dla mnie dużo za trudne i trochę przerażające. Nie wiem co się stanie jutro, pojutrze itp.... wiem tylko że chcę aby ten tydzień już się skończył.
Anddd omg... some of the girls there... :'( they are soo annoying and kinda mean.... and :'( there is a lunch hour where I know I'll be all by myslef while everyone is out eating lunch.
Annnd I hate when people say oh but you're so privaliged, some people would dye just to have the opportunites you do.... Ok, but are saying that if you are privaliged and live in confort and security you are not allowed to be sad, be depressed and have issues etc... it's soo annoying... or when people say oh at least you weren't born in a time of war, as if we get to choose in what time period we are born in... as if it's my fault that those people lived in horror and terror... what?
I dunno... I am angry and extremly sad... so my thoughts are a bit crazy.
Dear god.... please make this/next week end already.
Boże nie wiem jak przetrwam ten kolejny tydzień... To może być jeden z najtrudniejszych tygodni mojego życia. Nie wiem...nic nie wiem. Czuje się źle, jest mi smutno, jestem samotna i wpakowałam się w coś co jest dla mnie dużo za trudne i trochę przerażające. Nie wiem co się stanie jutro, pojutrze itp.... wiem tylko że chcę aby ten tydzień już się skończył.
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